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This will include teachings that come about as a function of this forum and related activities. Some of these will be examples from individual experience.
Personal power is like integrity or any number of character issues that cannot be taken away unless you “let go.” A common way of losing power is to look at how some other person offends you or fails to behave towards you in a way you would prefer. This may be an attempt at “power stealing” by the other person but it cannot be successful unless you allow it to be so. This is very a important bit of Knowledge for a Warrior’s Path. Put simply: You have already relinquished your power when you have some desire regarding how someone else should behave. This is a classic example of taking things personally when none of it has anything to do with you. If you want to make this a power-in, simply have no expectations except of yourself and make that expectation a call to act with kindness. Regardless of how others behave, make your energy be a positive contribution. Smile, wish them happiness, call attention to the blue sky or clouds or leaves or flowers or birds or… Be and walk in beauty. This is really quite easy. Walk in beauty!
Where your attention goes, your energy follows. The potentials for JOY and inner peace are existent in virtually everything but you have to direct your attention. Each of us decides for ourselves, where we will focus attention. The Earth Walk exists by virtue of dualism so for everything we might view as positive, there is an opposite and equal negative. If we choose to focus on the negative aspects of the negatives, we go down a rabbit hole of misery. Strangely enough, if we try to ignore the negative, we find ourselves doing a very fragile dance. We use fear and caution to protect the positive and to repel the negative. The result is a very uncomfortable place. HOWEVER, if we choose to focus on the beauty of both positives and negatives, accepting both as symbiotic twins, we are now attending to the incredible balance that allows Earth Walk to exist and there is nothing to do but feel JOY. Note that JOY can exist, even as we have experiences that are clearly of negative valence. It is a miracle to be able to feel misery so I choose to find JOY in that. The by-product of Joy is a feeling of total PEACE.
If we refer back to the last post and the matter of being in prison, it is obvious that we can’t escape if we don’t even recognize that we are incarcerated. However, once we do have that realization we then have a choice. Do we want to escape or do we want to stay in our prison. Many and perhaps even most people choose the comfort of the familiar life they have evolved and do not really want to change. Some say they want to change but when it comes to doing the work, they would prefer to go through motions and creating appearances but avoiding actual change.
Some, however, are really driven to escape and create a new and different existence. Those who participate on this forum are invariably of the latter group or they simply fade away. So, to those who continue this quest, it may pay to do a cursory look at strategy. HOW DO WE CHANGE?Perhaps the greatest source of tail-chasing attempts at change, come from efforts to change things outside one’s self. A person may decide to change by moving to a different state or taking a different job or moving into a different residence or frequenting different night-spots. There are infinite changes we can make to our environment but in the final analysis, these kinds of changes are only superficial and that proverbial tail chasing continues. The same things that have prevailed and that they have wanted to change to get out of prison, just keep reappearing, perhaps in slightly different forms but, nevertheless, there they are and there they will be–at least until………?????????????????
Now we get to the important part. How do we exit tail-chasing? This is simple but maybe not so easy. We know we cannot succeed by changing the world around us because it keeps resurrecting itself in different but the same forms. We have to change the energy that attracts these same old same olds. We keep doing things to get different results but the energy with which we do what we do is actually the same old energy and it keeps attracting the same old energies to us. We have to change our own energy and then we will begin to attract energies that are commensurate with what we have become.
The first step, now that we know we are in prison and chasing our tail and we want to go down a different path, is to really examine the energy that we are right now. What does my energy look like? Many clues can be found by looking at what that energy keeps attracting. What are the things that we would like to leave behind but that keep reappearing, even as we think we are changing. Start there and then we can begin to consider plans to modify aspects of that energy. Get with a serious, self-reflective mirror and look at all of it. Be your own witness. Post, if you’d like, in your private thread on forum. Then we will be ready for some added steps.
Desire is behind all suffering.
Desire defines all that we do not have.
When we relinquish desire, there is no longer anything we do not have.
Anger is always a power-out.
Anger is a dysfunctional reaction to fear.
Find the source of the fear, treat it as a challenge, conquer the source and feel your power-in.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T is not something you deserve.
Respect is an energy that you will receive as a reflection of the respect you radiate outwards to others.
Your “REALITY” is your perception being reflected in your own, personal mirror.
Perceive yourself radiating Joy and Joy will be reflected back.
Perceive yourself radiating sadness and sadness be reflected back.
Perceive an object or a being as you have been conditioned to see it and that visual image will be reflected back.SEE this and you can take steps right now, today, to CREATE your reality.
What steps will you take? Pick something and create it!
How do you understand when you have made a connection with Spirit?
Simple: There is nothing to understand.
We tend to look at mental body, emotional body and physical body as three distinct entities but the three are actually manifested by One Energy that we might refer to as “Spirit.” When Spirit manifests these three energies in a particular way, they become this miracle we call the “human form.” The energetic fibers that comprise these three bodies are entwined like a Gordian Knot and cannot be separated without destruction of the entirety of their being. However, at the same time, humanness has a profound dependency on physical, mental and emotional aspects. Thus, they might be better described as interdependent and entwined rather than separate. Harm to mental functioning is harm to emotional and physical. Harm to emotional effects mental and physical. Harm to physical effects mental and emotional. To heal one, we must look at all three. Often, the most obvious, problematic issue is a symptom and presents in one of these energies to help direct us to some deeper need for healing. A physical ailment or even an injury, can be a clue that we need to work on healing emotional body or the thoughts that are pervasive in mental body. Negative thinking or emotional distress can be symptoms of physical energies that are out of balance and need healing. As we come to See the relationships between the 3 energies, we are acquiring a great gift on our path to healing.
Considering that each of us, as human, has some healing to do, we may facilitate this by contemplating where we are with each of our three bodies and how they seem to interact. As suggested in some previous posts, meditating and asking for help can be a very powerful process for accessing what Spirit has to offer. Ask for help in Seeing your own physical behavior, mental behavior and emotional behavior and how each effects your over-all health and how they interact to impact your personal, Gordian Knot.
CONFLICT is one of our greatest challenges and one of our greatest teachers.
Conflict arises when our beliefs are challenged. The beliefs may relate to any number of circumstances in life or they may relate to how we perceive ourselves or the way we live our life. When beliefs are challenged, we have a tendency to have a charge and to then defend our own beliefs or self. The result is conflict. Needless to say, conflict is seldom fun. Win, lose or draw, we pay a price in terms of personal power lost. Thus, a serious Warrior really wants to learn to navigate conflict in some different ways.
A really good place to begin successfully dealing with conflict is the Warrior’s tool of RETREAT. Let’s consider that as a very powerful starting point. Practice retreating as soon as you see a conflict coming at you. You will feel the charge and that is the time to retreat. Getting the Hell out can take many forms and you can choose what seems to best fit the situation. It may be as simple as not responding, even changing the subject. It may involve putting your attention on something else. It may mean physically leaving. You decide and then retreat as quickly as possible with no response to the issue of the conflict. Generally, when you retreat, the strategy is to then make a plan for reengaging but without conflict. Enact plan and retreat again, as many times as needed, but avoid the conflict.
To most of us who have been conditioned to stand up for ourselves and our beliefs, this sounds like a coward’s way out. It leads to the oft mentioned “door mat syndrome.” However, for the Warrior, it is quite the opposite. The major objective is to refuse to participate in negative energy and to never put negative energy into the Universe. When a Warrior retreats, they begin to sense that they are engaging something positive and, indeed, very powerful. In addition, the source of the conflict is suddenly rendered powerless. (Anyone know the basic premise underlying Tai Chi?) As you practice retreat, you will begin to feel this more and more clearly and eventually, you will realize that you are creating a whole, new facet to your personal energy. This facet contributes Joy to your environment and most definitely to self. It eradicates elements of negative energies.
RETREAT is just a beginning strategy for eliminating CONFLICT from your life. We will explore others as we move forward but retreat is a perfect beginning. Practice this and some of the previously illusive strategies will become very available to you.
“Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” John Lennon
As we seek “Life Mission,” the quotation above may hold a bit of a key for the serious Warrior. As we go through this Earth walk as a human, we are sort of on two tracks. One of those tracks is forged from our conditioning. We respond or react to the events unfolding in our path. Our responses are based on how parents, teachers, peers, and our own experiences have shown us to respond. That is one track.
The other is more mysterious as it comes from a force that we generally do not see. Each of us comes into this life with a Mission that is actually WHY we are here. We might refer to this force behind this mission as our Authentic, Spirit self. When we enter the human form and begin to create connections to the human ways, we tend to lose our intimate connection with our Spirit self and with our very clear, life mission. This second track is slowly and subtly formed as Spirit Self strives to communicate with us without interfering with our belief in “real self” as a living, breathing, human being. For most humans, the two tracks are contradictory. The first track is the reality of a human in form while the second is Spirit based and formless. As long as the form track is chosen, the formless is unable to connect in a meaningful way.
However, Spirit is not to be outdone and the Lennon quotation gives us a hint of how this works. Our Authentic Self or Spirit, will occasionally have an opening that allows directing some facet of our life in form. This may manifest in some “accidental” experience or event that seems out of context. It may manifest in a job opportunity or the appearance of a teacher or a book or some other thing that captivates our attention. Events that deeply resonate in our feeling body are often directly from our Authentic Self.
So, if we are interested in coming to know our life mission–“why am I here?”–we may find answers by looking at our collection of life experiences and taking inventory of things that have effected us deeply and things that have seemed to repeat and repeat. We have all had many experiences that we were not seeking but that just happened. Look at things we have resisted but that have kept coming around. These are Spirit, demanding our attention. When we create our inventory and study and contemplate it, we will begin to see that mysterious, second track actually becoming clear. Therein lies our life mission.
We might add that engaging the process suggested here can help you open your own connection to your Authentic Self or Spirit. How to become a “hollow bone?” Follow the bread crumbs.
Everyone sort of knows that it is not cool to be passing judgment on other people. However, knowing that and following this guidance is not necessarily the same thing. It is recommended that each person take inventory of their own judgmental behavior and take whatever steps are necessary to correct it.
Passing judgment has a number of disadvantages that are worthy of note. First, it is clearly behavior that stems from self-importance and the eradication of SI is one of a Warrior’s most challenging assignments and must-dos. Second, passing judgment is an indicator of one’s own insecurities or, might we suggest, lack of power. We also want to correct that for obvious reasons. And, passing judgment is always a loss of power. It may seem otherwise for a brief moment but in short order, the energy you have created by being critical of another is an energy that you can feel is draining your power. Remember, power is a feeling.
Let’s consider an alternative to passing judgment when you witness something in another person that could merit criticism. Try using your power to SEE why the person is doing what they are doing. As a Warrior with even a smidge of power, you also have a bit of potential “empathy.” Apply it. Then you will see there is no need to be critical. So, choice # 1 is to just let it be. No power lost.
A second alternative that you may find constructive is to do something to guide the other person out of behavior that may really need to be changed. Start by assuring yourself that the behavior does need changing and that you are not just indulging in another judgment trap. If such is the case, you might model a more constructive behavior or, in some cases, even ask the person if they’d like to see another way to do whatever that might be easier or give better results. Just be careful that you don’t indulge in stealing their power which, BTW, will also lead to you losing as well. So, careful with this one.
Does this sound like staying in the background might be a beneficial aproach rather than passing judgment?
The Warrior who is quiet, both inside and out, is generating and preserving the greatest power.
So we have done a bit of exploration of the effects of passing judgment on others. “Others” come and go but the person you are most prone to constantly judge is not an “other.” What are you doing to yourself when you judge self-looks, status, wealth, education, friends, family, and on-and-on. Spend some time with this. Note that self-judging does an interesting thing to Assemblage Point. Hmmmmmm?????????????
Note that self-judging does an interesting thing to Assemblage Point.
And it is not something a Warrior seeks.
New topic for today:
stay tuned
“SEEING”, THE ART OF A WARRIOR
One of the objectives of a Warrior is to loosen perceptual mechanisms so that they can SEE. When we talk about “Seeing,” We are referring to the conscious perception of pure energy. There is a very simple exercise that you may find helps you down the path of Seeing at least some of the energetic essences of other humans. There are a few things that should be fairly obvious and that help us down this path. First, remember that everything in the physical world is constantly changing. Nothing stays static. This applies to the human form which is just energy in motion. Second, as we interact with other humans, they are largely focused on what they present to you as representative of them. They put on all forms of costumes. They create the illusion of being human. Third, we focus on the costumes as we are attempting to perceive the person and generally do not even realize where our attention is going. We get distracted by the form and see the manifestation, body, face, hair, clothes, etc. As a result, we miss the energy that is behind all of what is in front of us. Finally, because of the way we direct our focus, even the costume is illusive because, as we said, everything is constantly changing. If we want to SEE a person, we need to get past the costumes and facade and glimpse the energy.
So, here’s a simple suggestion you might enjoy and that might surprise you in a big way. This is a way you might find to be a very basic glimpse into the world of SEEING. Start looking for photos of people you would like to SEE. Look at the photo or photos as if you were looking at a stranger and then allow yourself to process your perception. Be a bit careful that you don’t get into judgments, particularly as regards the costuming. You are giving yourself an advantage because the photo is not constantly changing. The Authentic energy of the person is fixed in time, regardless of costume or actions caught in that moment. The energy of the person is right there in front of you and they cannot mess with your perceptions because it is fixed in time. If you can get past your own perceptual biases, you may well SEE the person.
Now, what is it that you SEE when SEEING? Careful! Ego trap ahead!
As humans, we utilize our energy to do things. One of those things we do is to talk. Talk is a strategy for focusing our energy and, dare we say, creating with it. So, we utter words, the words radiate out into our surroundings and the energy of the words touches people who may be around us. It is the energy that determines the nature of what we create. If we utter harsh, critical, ugly words, the energy we radiate has those same characteristics. If we utter kind, soft, loving words, the resultant energy is kind and sweet. In each case, the facets of our environment, including people in it, are effected by our energy and are actually changed, to some degree, to resemble that energy themselves. If we speak kindness, the result is kindness. If we speak anger and hate, that is exactly what we create with our magic. We then live in the world we have created.
We each have the power to change the world. In fact, each time we speak, we do change it. What we speak, we create and what we create becomes the life we live.
This is easy magic. Apply it and cultivate the reality of yourself as a magical creation of energy.
A major part of the work we do here, is to become very familiar with our, personal conditioning. As humans, we have been effected by our environments from the time of birth. The factors that have effected us have essentially taught us to act, think and feel in certain ways. Note that these factors are external to us. We refer to the process of these environmental impacts as “conditioning.”
Conditioning molds us with great power. It essentially creates the “who” and “what” we are as we go through our human experience. However, as sentient beings, we have an alternative that is really, quite exciting. We have the option of escaping the sort of prison that has resulted from our conditioning and, actually becoming a free, self-generating being. In short, as we study our conditioning we can begin to rebel against the control we find it has imposed. We then must take responsibility for a new who and what that we create ourselves. The catch is, however, that this new persona, if truly a product of our own making, can no longer be excused or viewed as a victim. That, of course, is one of the most serious walls against which a would-be Warrior keeps beating their head.
Out of this, there is a solution that is incredibly simple and unbelievably challenging. When we have learned about our conditioned persona and when we have decided to take responsibility for a new creation, we can begin to create and actually become a new composite of thoughts, feelings and actions that are actually aligned with who we are at an Authentic level. If we are ready and willing to take responsibility, we can feel joy, we can think thoughts that are clear and objective, and we can align all our acts with the beauty we feel in our heart. We may have to keep correcting course as we practice taking the “wheel.” We can expect a long journey to undo our conditioning. However, a Warrior has unbending Intent and will apply it to generating thoughts, feelings and actions that they then create and accept as who and what they have become. A Warrior takes responsibility for these changes for without taking full responsibility, a person is only indulging in being a victim and defeating themselves in their own, personal battle.
Part of the “human condition” involves being taught “beliefs.” These help us participate in a culture or, we might say, in a “herd.” Most people go through life, following and strengthening their beliefs. In essence, they become more and more conforming to the demands of their environment. In addition to this, most people come to view their beliefs as irrefutable truths. These beliefs become a limiting prison and life actually adopts the purpose of living within those walls. The oft asked question of “who and what am I,” is answered by these beliefs. “I am a product of the beliefs I have learned.”
A Warrior must take a very different approach to beliefs. A Warrior must recognize that beliefs are fabricated constructs that serve a purpose we might call “conforming.” However, the Warrior also recognizes that beliefs are not fixed entities. They are just conveniences to facilitate the Earth Walk of a human energy.
Given that, a Warrior strives to erase attachments to all beliefs. A Warrior sees beliefs as tools to be used to engage the Earth Walk but does not give them actual credence. Warriors are told, “believe nothing, do not believe me and do not even believe yourself. ” Beliefs are your prison.
As beliefs are cleared, a Warrior makes room for a direct connection to “source.” This can be somewhat enigmatic as different Warriors use different labels and have different concepts of what is meant by “source.” Common translations are “Spirit,” “God,” “Authentic Self,” etc. The simple solution does open to the Warrior as beliefs are cleared. We do not seek another belief based on any of these concepts. Rather, we seek to open a clear slate to a connection that will come to us when we are clean and clear. Given that, each, human, energetic being will have their own, very personal connection to the energy that lies behind “Who and What” applies to that specific human.
As we look at this, we can see that each Warrior and, in fact, each human, has their own, very personal connection with their own, very personal source. When we try to find agreement between various people, we then create another belief or set of beliefs and take ourselves backwards, away from the connection achieved by being clean and clear. Given this, a Warrior comes to Know that which is totally Knowable but, at the same time, totally indescribable. Thus, a Warrior finds their own journey on their own path. They follow this while using beliefs as a way of mapping their way through a human life.
As humans, we are all born into a world that immediately undertakes shaping us into a member of humanity as defined by our environment. The formative years serve to create a “persona.” Our persona defines how we see ourself and how others see us. Our persona dictates how we interact with our environment including friends, family, etc. As we go through life, the vast majority of us strive to fine tune that persona and, as we do that, our persona becomes more and more fixed and solid. Most people, who we might refer to as “ordinary humans,” cling to their persona, as if changing it could spell sudden death. They protect and defend and solidify their persona.
A “Warrior” has a very different nature. A Warrior goes through those formative years, just like ordinary humans, but something inside the Warrior lusts for change and exploration of the unknown. A Warrior practices change by identifying and assaulting the habits and beliefs that define their conditioned persona. A Warrior is in constant rebellion against being static. A Warrior is the very definition of “fluid.”
There are many, real-life effects of being fluid but, I would like to address just one of those here. Humans invariably are engaged in relationships with other humans and, for “ordinary humans, these relationships are defined in the same way as “personas.” In relationship, we learn what to expect from each other. We establish patterns of reinforcing each other to sustain the relationship. In short, we evolve relationships to become more and more static–less amenable to change. At least, that is what “ordinary humans” do.
So, the obvious question is “what happens when a relationship is between an unchanging person and a Warrior who is in a constant state of motion? In short, habitual patterns that have defined the dynamics between the two, are changed. For example, in the past, two people have enjoyed each other by sharing gossip. The Warrior chooses to avoid gossip and this key part of the relationship is threatened. The same can be predicted for any number of habitual behaviors. Drinking as a social behavior can impact a friendship if one party decides to quit. Addiction to “beliefs” is potentially a huge issue. If a person is stuck in their beliefs, regardless of what those beliefs may be, that person is an ordinary human–not a Warrior. Politics! A Warrior constantly questions and challenges anything they perceive as one of their beliefs. Then they change any beliefs to which they are attached or choose not to change, recognize that a belief is simply fiction that has been accepted. Folly/controlled folly. In any case, disparate beliefs can cause major discord in relationships as two people become more and more divergent in beliefs.
The most likely outcome of circumstances in which one person, the Warrior, is changing and the other is staying stuck in one place, will often be less than pleasant. The ordinary person may be angry that their friend is appearing to abandon them. They may strike out with angry words or unpleasant actions. They may just appear to be displeased or unhappy. Often, the ordinary person resents the feelings that they can no longer predict the Warrior’s behavior. Often, friendships may be left behind as the two people become further apart. A Warrior will generally SEE what is happening and may find ways to heal a friendship or may simply conclude that it is time to move on. The ordinary person is unlikely to understand what is happening and is hardly responsible for their behavior. They are just conditioned humans who are doing what conditioned humans do. They are building and reinforcing their persona.
The longer term outcome for the Warrior will generally be quite positive. Remember that nothing is permanent, everything is in constant motion. Remember that a Warrior is seeking freedom and that requires finding the direction of motion in the Universe and then riding one wave, then another, and another, with no attachment to any. As for friendship or relationships as they apply to Warriors, the direction is obvious. If you, as a Warrior, want a long term relationship with another person, choose another Warrior, someone who also seeks movement and change. Then you may expand even your most adventurous motion and go places you might never have imagined on your own.
Recently, we have been having discussions about negative emotions, charges and other feelings that we do not, at least consciously, cherish. We have discussed various strategies for dealing with such emotions. Some of these strategies stem from coming to know them as conditioned behavior. We have talked about taking responsibility and we have looked at the way the “dark” feelings are there to complete the dualism by complimenting “light.” We have considered the role of recap and of SWIT and meditation. In short, we have dug pretty deep and may still have work to do.
As we have been having these various discussion in Circle, during Skype sessions and on forum, I have been trying to find a way to communicate how I handle the dark energies that are actually a necessary part of our lives as humans. As I look at my own approach, I can see that in the past, I have used all of the various suggestions and tools and done so ruthlessly and with patience. However, I have landed in a place that is surely the result of this work but that is also at a somewhat different level. I do a very simple thing. This thing may not be as easy as simple and it may require years of practice, but it very clearly works and it very clearly is available for anyone who knows what to seek and how to seek it. It is a secret that is no secret. If I can share this and if you can all receive it, we will be one joyous collective and that will include even the darkest of times.
We have been relentless in stressing the adage that “where your attention goes, your energy follows.” Our habitual, conditioned focus of attention, when “darkness” is perceived, is to focus on the negatives and our energy tends to race down a vortex of internal Hell. The antidote is so simple. When I perceive darkness, I shift my attention to an internal feeling of absolute PEACE. I make a choice. When I do this, I am filled with a sense of warmth and joy, in part because I am not being sucked into that vortex to Hell. At the same time, as I am attending to the feeling of peace, I am able to totally feel the Dark energy. I can have the experience as fully as possible but do so without being owned by it. The trick is to be able to be aware of both feelings at the same time-the dark and Peace. We can do that and when we do, we expand the fullness of our life in a remarkable way. We no longer have to fight the dark energies. We have a place for them and it fits nicely in Who and What we are as humans. We create a sense of completeness that is quite impossible if we are constantly struggling to reject the Dark energies.
My suggestion is that you practice the feeling of internal Peace. Keep doing it. This will be to your advantage at all times but, if you hone the skill of directing your attention to Peace, you will eventually be able to meet dark energies with your deliberate focus on Peace and you will experience both as the One that they actually are.
When all around you are continually in agreement, the growth of true KNOWLEDGE is seriously at risk.
More and more, I see people banding together in what we might call “collective belief cults.” To belong, it is necessary to accept what the cult believes and, to be an active member, it is necessary that you seek and find support for whatever arguments are accepted. Difference of opinion is rejected and those espousing different thoughts, are ostracized. “Limiting beliefs” are becoming more and more in play as the potentials for alternatives are rejected.
This is not new for the “human form.” We have religions and close to an infinite number of non-religion based beliefs and belief systems. Unfortunately, we have very little by way of skepticism regarding “beliefs” as an imaginary creation. Perhaps we would come much closer to true KNOWLEDGE if we would collectively examine all of our varying, contradictory beliefs and come to an understanding of how they come to be. Those of us who are engaged in this forum and resultant work, might apply our Warrior Ways to this issue. The way to do this is essentially two-fold.
First, listen with open mind to whatever arguments others may want you to believe. Just listen and consider having compassion for the person who is stuck in some belief.
Second, file the belief under “beliefs” in your perception library. File it along with similar and contradictory beliefs and remember that it is just a belief. It is just a creation of one or more human minds and it is only one possible way of perceiving.Having listened and filed, you can now decide your own actions or lack of action. If you decide on a course of action, recognize it for what it is. It is not based on some absolute truth. It is simply a decision you have made as a Warrior. Do so by keeping this in the realm of controlled folly and beware the danger of diving into believing as dyed-in-the-wool, bonafide, “true fact” folly. Laugh at yourself because you are exercising your Knowledge of Knowing.
As we work on growing and evolving, one of the obvious discoveries is that we are very much products of our parents. Not only did they give us genes but they also have been constant contributors to our conditioning. As we open our eyes and pay attention to the person we have become, it becomes more and more obvious that much of what we want to change about self is directly related to what our parent/s have done to create the persona that is now “me.” If we dig deeply into this, we may even come to realize that parental influence has much more control over the way we function than does our own, alleged, free will.
A Warrior’s path compels a person to work on changing their behavior and taking charge of their own life. We subscribe to being the artist of our own life. This can be exciting and reasonably successful when we are working on ourselves while connecting with others who are of like mind. A social group that works to grow and learn together as well as providing support, can be very, very helpful.
But then there are parents. What happens as we work on personal growth and as our parents begin to see us change. In most cases, they are not very pleased to see that which they have created(you) turning into another person. Beyond that, you will surely notice some of your own unease when you are the “new you” in front of your parents. Just does not feel quite relaxed. And then there is another, really big issue. As you are growing and evolving and feeling good about self and as your friends are reinforcing your changes, YOU are looking at your parents and seeing them in a new light. Some of your vision may be focused on their dysfunction in their own lives–like they really are not perfect. Even more intense, you may begin to see the many ways your parents, well-intended or not, really did a number on you. Why are you having to do so much work on self? Who is to blame? It is so obvious.
Now we have a Warrior’s challenge. We are dedicated to our own growth and we are not going to stop, just to have no further issues with parent/s. We also know it is not our place nor is it feasible to work on changing our parent/s. And, we really cannot just walk away–nor should we. We need to face this and find a way to honor and love our parents while maintaining our own, personal integrity. This is the issue.
There are some simple things that we can do in forging a new, healthy relationship with these people who leave us a bit shaken:
1. For starters, let’s just accept that they are human like all humans and they have strengths and weakness like all humans. They make mistakes and sometimes have no clue. They are just doing what they have been conditioned to do. So, just human!!!
2. They also feel both joy and pain, some of which is related to you as their offspring. Sometimes you please and sometimes you disappoint. Can you sense how this might be if you have your own child and have that special caring that is associated with being a parent. Now, can you find compassion.
3. And, they also have lives that have some secrets from you. Do you consider that they might have stressors in their life that you do not know but that become energy directed at you?
4. If you are going to relate to parents from your own, adult persona, you probably need to act like an adult. This takes many forms but it definitely does not include indulging in self-pity or in judging them. As an adult, you see them as adults with their own imperfections and dysfunction. You also see how they may want to push and pull at you to be the way they want you to be. As an adult, you simply witness these matters and do your best to have a healthy relationship. It may not be so beneficial to bounce back and forth from being adult to being their little kid.
5. Fifth, the odds are really good that they care about you as much or more than any other humans in this world. There is a parent/child bond that is irrevocable, regardless of either’s crappy behavior. Recognize that and live in accord.
6. Every challenge your parents have given you is, in reality, a gift. The memories from events in childhood can tell you so much about why you are as you are and what you need to heal or change. The dysfunctional behaviors and the positive powers of your parents are examples from which you should learn. These are gifts. Look at your own copy-cat behavior and you will be in a better place to be your own artist and to do a better job choosing what to pass on to the NEXT SEVEN GENERATIONS. Remember why we are here.A Warrior is dedicated to growing and evolving. Many suffer from the delusion that the key to growing and evolving is in acquisition of knowledge. It is true that acquisition of Knowledge is an essential component of growth but, ironically, once a Warrior achieves some level of knowledge, that “information” or “guidance” is no longer of concern–to the Warrior. Many people gather knowledge like a squirrel gathers nuts and then they treat their knowledge like some special thing about self. They now talk their knowledge as if a great collection of Winter nuts is proof of their wondrousness. In fact, Knowledge gained is like the nuts stored and its’ only function is to apply it. The point is, knowledge acquired is essentially a completed part of growing and evolving and to treat it as the “end-game” is to put on the brakes and stop growing. Knowledge is to use to open new doors and to keep progressing.
So, how does a Warrior continue on their path? If we look way back in our teachings, we were told that all change must begin with AWARENESS. With all this knowledge we have acquired, it may seem strange to be going back to the beginning but that is the way it works. We circle(remember “circle”) back and, if we are doing our work, we circle in at a higher level. Remember SPIRALS? So, with all this knowledge and all this growth, we are now able to see deeper into the directions our path is taking. We are able to see new layers of issues and tasks that we were not able to SEE before. We have grown and evolved but suddenly, we are back at a beginning. The answer a Warrior hears in their own heart is simple. Use all you have learned and do all you have learned to do but take it to a higher level. Seek AWARENESS of the things you have as your CHALLENGES and do your best to engage them.
Finally, tap available resources. This, in itself, is a surreptitious challenge the Warrior may not be quite able to See. Self-importance is the parasite that invades and will not let go. SI tells the Warrior that whatever remains of their path is in their grasp and it is time to walk alone. This generally leads to tail-chasing at the level of current knowledge and, in time, the tail tastes hairy and the chaser gets bored–leaves the Warrior’s Path and lives out life with a vague mental shadow of what might have been. So, available resources:
1. Obviously, we need to identify challenges. Awareness!!!!
2. We know, or should know by now, that we don’t just jump at the first inkling of a challenge. Rather, we go into acute, detailed, analytical, examination mode. We seek to determine all facets of a challenge, just as a hunter studies their prey.
3. We may seek guidance.
4. We often benefit from paying attention to others who may have similar challenges or who may simply be bona fide Warriors who work on their challenges.
5. We can benefit by comparing notes with other Warriors. In these cases, there is wisdom in listening carefully. The very things that are there for us to learn may be quite hidden behind words of even meanings of another person.
6. And, how many times have we said, “Do shit!” Do real life actions that are selected to create change in the direction your Path is leading. Do shit to challenge the challenges. BE A GREAT WARRIOR!
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