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WHO—WHO—WHO AM I???????
Let’s take another quick cut at answering this time-old question.
As humans, each of us is two “who’s,” at least until we have totally healed and that is a goal but not terribly likely. So, there is one of us that is that unhealed human. This energy has been shaped and molded by the conditions of our Earth Walk from the time we arrived here and up until the present moment. This is our conditioned persona and as it is conditioned, it is also subject to “deconditioning.”
In juxta-position to our conditioned persona, each of us has an AUTHENTIC SELF. We came into this life with that self and it is fixed in the energy we carry before, during and after this brief stay as a human. It is WHO we are. This Authentic Who may seem like a mystery but it is really not so much. Each of us has a connection with a personal energy that we refer to as our “heart.” For some, this is expressed in terms like “I want to be kind,” “I want to love and be loved,” I want to be of service to others.” We each have some underlying, driving force that we really do know, even as we do our conditioned, character act. What we call a “path with heart” is no great secret to any of us. We just get stuck in the mire of conditioning and then feel confused about WHO, WHO, WHO we are.
The answer is very simple. We are exactly WHO our Path With Heart says we are. We are not the conditioned version of our human energy. So, as you go through your days, there is wisdom in continually sinking back into that connection with your heart and, even as you do human stuff that is inconsistent with your Authenticity, keep reminding yourself that you really do know WHO, WHO, WHO you are.
We are told that the 4 enemies of man are FEAR, CLARITY, POWER AND DEATH. As we go through life, we are faced with each of these and, in the eyes of the Warrior, each offers a special challenge. The first 3 are common, human issues that can be solved whereas the 4th, death, is inevitable, even if it can sometimes be slowed. Of particular interest to the Warrior is a sort of interplay among all four of these enemies.
Fear is generally the first to make its presence known and, of course, is often aligned with Death. We tend to work on fear by applying clarity and power, creating the illusion that once we have clarity/Knowledge and sufficient power, fear can no longer exist.
Clarity is a more surreptitious “parasite” as it tends to masquerade as precious Wisdom and is much sought by a warrior. However, in the final analysis, as one delves deep into clarity, it begins to become “clear” that this is all about human, mental gymnastics and has little to do with what we begin to sense is actual Wisdom or Knowledge. We may create a very clear “story” of the nature of the Universe and of human life but at its best, it is just a story–one of an infinite number of possible stories.
And then we have power. This is a feeling and as we acquire power, we begin to overcome fear and, eventually may reach a point where Clarity is no longer of any real interest. Further, as power increases, we come to a place where it is simply the way things are and it has no great attraction to a Warrior.
Finally, there is death and using Death as an adviser, a Warrior may come to peace with Fear, Clarity and Power. We might consider how these all interact like children in the playground of the Great Mystery. We cannot fully use Death as an adviser until we solve the riddles of the other three and yet, there is a real challenge to solve that mystery before Death takes over.In the post above, we took a brief look at the interplay between the 4 enemies of man-FEAR, CLARITY, POWER AND DEATH. There are many ways these energies effect us and we effect them. If we pay attention and come to SEE the “dance,” we may be able to use these “enemies” as assets.
A very simple, positive approach when you have been hurt or offended by another, is to practice forgiveness. Every time you recall an offense, you will be losing personal power. This is going to FEAR and going against self. Every time you recall an offense and go to forgiveness, you will be enhancing CLARITY by not taking it personally AND, you will be acquiring personal power. So-forgiveness–>power-in; holding grudge–>power-out. Which do you choose?
You can journey very deep into forgiveness. As you practice and pay attention, you will begin to see that there are many layers that are successively more and more pure. You may eventually begin to peel away layers that take you to self-forgiveness, a process that can be incredibly joyful and powerful.
One of the interesting aspects of our work here, on forum and in Skype sessions, is that certain issues surface and are issues for most everyone. One such issue is that of interacting with people who have been our friends. This is not a new issue for most but it does seem to be current for many. So, let’s dig in a bit and see if we can create some forward movement. “Friends!”
As we define friends, we should also include family–at least some family. The people we are concerned about are those with whom we have a history of sharing life experiences. Some experiences have been joyful-doing things together and sharing the fun or beauty. Others may have been more of a shared negative energy. A person who has been with you during rough times might be a friend. When you and another person have had similar experiences, particularly negative ones, and share these, consoling and advising each other, you may become friends. In short, the friends (and family) that we want to address here are people with whom we have established a bond and, in a sense, a degree of co-dependency.
Co-dependency is an important concept to understand if we are going to manage friendships in a positive manner. When we interact , we emit behavior and the person with whom we interact also emits behavior. What we do is perceived by them and generally lesads to a response back. We go back and forth, encouraging responses from each other and reinforcing responses that meet our expectations. Put bluntly, we condition each other to behave in accord with our desires. With friends, we come to pretty much know how they respond and how our interactions with them are most comfortable. We feed off each other>>>”co-dependency”
This can also be very dysfunctional in any number of ways. For example, the need or desire for a particular friendship can lead one to “going against self.” We have addressed that many times. Drinking excessively because a friend or group of friends is over-indulging–co-dependency. Another, different effect of co-dependency, can come about when disrespectful behavior enters the picture. The history pof the relationship has so attached the energies of two or even more people, that insults and other forms of disrespect become tolerated. And, there are many other examples of the negative impact of co-dependency.
One such effect is impacting any number of folks who participate here. All of us have friends and we value our friends. We have long standing relationships and have shared much of our lives with these people. We have well-established, co-dependencies. However, we are also growing and evolving. We are working on our own growth and much of the way we have been, no longer fits. Our friends may also be growing and evolving, deliberately or by hapinstance. In any case, change is inevitable and we are sure to be caught in it. In many cases, this means that the old, habitual, interactive patterns with friends are no longer aligned with the direction we are taking our life. When we get with some old friends, it can be really hard to be yourself, the way you have become. You feel discomfort and you see that your long-time friend is also feeling a bit uncomfortable, trying to ascertain who in Hell you are. What has happened to their friend. This is the crunch point everyone experiences unless they have found a way to be totally static and have found totally static friends.
None of this is unexpected. In fact, it is one of the expected effects of personal growth. However, normal or not, it can be hard to navigate. This is where a Warrior must bring out the big guns and really invest in their integrity. In some cases, it may be OK to continue to interact with the friend or friends and use this as fertile soil for growing the new you. You will need to be ruthless in being the person you have been evolving to be. This is extremely challenging and might be kept as an option when you are forced into such interactions.
In many cases, it is both possible and advantageous to “table” interactions and take a sort of vacation from the co-dependent relationship. This can also be very difficult and may require some extreme measure to make it happen. A sort of inbetween approach can be to explain to your friend that you are working on changing some things about yourself and need to take that vacation from relationship to get away from the things that trigger old habits. You can do this as a tentative plan for reconnecting on “down the line.” That will best be when you feel settled enough that you will not be easily knocked off your game.
The benefits and cost of all this should be considered. If you are not giving priority to your own growth, you may be best off staying in the co-dependent relationship/s. If you really do have unbending Intent to change, you need to know that friends will also change. New ones will come along and the current ones may reappear or totally disappear. Be honest with yourself as you consider this. Life is about change and it will evolve, regardless of how you play your hand. However, by understanding friendships in the context of life’s journey and your inevitable change, you can make it much more meaningful and successful.
One’s various and sundry behaviors are most generally what we refer to as “habitual patterns.” These behaviors combine to become the totality of our life energies. The composite of who we are, consists of habitual patterns that are expressed in actions/physical body. Another part is expressed in thoughts that keep repeating themselves/mental body. And, of course, there is that part that is defined by emotions and feelings/the emotional body. These habitual patterns are like the notes in a song and, when played together, tend to generate a unique tune that is your life. We might view the totality of our persona as a huge, habitual pattern that, like each of the behaviors contained, is dedicated to maintaining itself. This is what habitual patterns do.
When we set out to change our life, as those here on forum are trying to do, there is a battle royal between all those habitual patterns/the established persona, and the persona we sense is Who we will be when tuned to our Authenticity. The task at hand is daunting and so incredibly complex that it is very hard to see even where to start. Fortunately, there is a very powerful teaching/process that we can apply with ease and that absolutely will help you to grow and evolve. This teaching says that when you change any aspect of a behavior, you actually will have modified the entirety of the habitual pattern. The strategy for you to use is simple and can be fun. Start by selecting one or two behaviors that you are sure you can change. Then set about implementing change of those habitual behaviors. The behaviors might be physical actions, mental activities or emotions. It can be helpful to plan this ahead of time and then implementing when you see the behavior starting into its’ pattern. Interrupt it in some way. Be unpredictable. Just change something. Then do this for more behaviors and just keep changing until, one day, you will realize you are a new person, that you have reinvented yourself. Once you have done this, you will know how and will be able to do it again and again. Keep adjusting, trying new tunes and new notes.
As you examine your own life/persona, take note of how your life-long, established habitual patterns maintain power over your Intents. Note how you try to change and then find yourself repeating the same old patterns. It is important to keep trying. Be ruthless. It is important to carefully plan what you will change and how you will change it. It is important that when you fail, you will patiently try again. Perhaps modify your plan but do not quit or accept defeat. Trust yourself and be kind to self and to others. This alone, may well be the change you need to modify the entirety of your persona. Kindness.
Our emotions are tricky little demons. They bring us the greatest, most joyful moments and they take us into the darkest places we ever visit. For a Warrior, the dance of one’s emotions is one of our most important sources of information to guide us on our personal, healing journey. Any expression by Emotional Body is a message and well worth our attention.
Let’s take a quick but important look at one of those emotions.
ANGER is a common emotion that can either own us and lead to a myriad of dysfunctional behaviors or, can be a real, wake-up call with some important life lessons. Most generally, anger is an emotion that we keep on the surface. We may express it or hold it inside like our own, little secret, but we are not generally inclined to dig into the depths and to take responsibility for our feelings. It is easier to view it as a response to something outside ourselves that is “making me angry.” This is most often a person but it can be any sort of environmental event. We are very skilled at placing blame. Unfortunately, when we do that, we may allow our attention to move past the anger but we miss the opportunity to go into our personal, treasure trove of woundings and discover some clues for healing.
It should be obvious that when we feel anger, we need to take responsibility. We can move this process along by recognizing that, even if we do not know exactly how we have learned anger, the anger emotions are feelings that we do create-even if there is some external trigger or stimulus. When I am angry, the emotions I feel are me, emitting a response. Anger is a behavior and when a person feels anger, they are creating that behavior. Like all behaviors, anger is a response to some stimulus(trigger) and, we can be assured that it has a history of having been reinforced-probably on many occasions. So, we can start with the basic premise that anger is a behavior that we emit and is thus, our responsibility. We are responsible for the anger but even more than that, we are responsible to either “heal” it or consciously decide to carry it through life as a free choice we make. A Warrior does have that choice but must begin by taking responsibility–total responsibility.
If you choose to move the dark energy of anger out of your life, it can be helpful to reflect/contemplate on your personal history, particularly with what you can remember about childhood. You may be able to recall events in which your anger was reinforced. Others who were with you when you were a child, might also have memories that you can tap through stories they tell. It can be freeing to discover/SEE how you learned the emotion of anger. Stimulus>anger>reinforcement!!!
That, however, is not the end of where you really need to go with anger. ANGER in itself, is a product of another, much deeper and more illusive emotion. Anger will invariably have a root in FEAR. If you have the personal power to engage FEAR as it relates to your ANGER, you will be on track to go all the way with this aspect of your healing. Seek the fear behind the anger and once you find it, you can do some major clearing of the energies you carry that weigh so much and are so dark.
FEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where no man but a crazy Warrior will dare to go.
Recently, a friend expressed an issue that has prompted me to go to the “Hollow Bone” for a deeper look. This friend said that he feels he has out-lived any real purpose in life and now sees little or no personal or community value coming from what he is doing.. This is not unlike the “Why am I here?” and “What is the purpose of life? ” questions we have all pondered but this is definitely a call to go beyond our usual discussions and teachings regarding personal task and life mission. There seems to be a whole new layer that we need to explore.
There are some familiar concepts that are clearly relevant:
One of those is self-importance. We seem to have a tendency to use what we are doing in life as an indicator of personal importance. For example, we see leaders as more important than followers. We see administrative personnel as more important than the “workers” in a business. We have all been conditioned to strive to be important.
A second concept is “oneness.” The implication of this is that each human is just part of the totality of the universe and we are all ONE. Given this, we might suggest that no one person is any more important than any other. In fact, oneness might be seen as negation of the very concept of differential importance.
Finally, if we can find a clear view of importance, oneness and the meaning or purpose of life, we might conclude that we are all here with the ultimate mission of eradicating differential importance. We are here to evolve to a clear knowledge that we are all ONE. As we accomplish that, we each may have things to do or things to not do. We are not important nor is anyone else. We are here to do our best at whatever comes our way and to do so without judging self or any other person.
If this is clear, you may be able to see how conquering self-importance can ultimately lead to universal peace and unconditional love. So simple and yet so challenging. Each of us must do our own part and there is no longer any doubt about why we are here.
RECAPITULATION
The Intent of recapitulation is to free one’s self from dark, negative energies. These are usually either haunting memories of recent events that have resulted in a charge. We want to clean these energies out of our own energetic body and replace them with energies that are light and free. So, we call the work “cleaning and clearing.” This process comes from ancient Toltec teachings and, even if you sometimes feel it is silly or ineffective or should or could be modified, it is suggested that, at lest until you have mastered it, you should do it precisely as you have been taught.
Let’s break the process into simple steps.
1. begin by identifying an energy you want to release. This energy is usually associated with a charge and you identify it by the way it feels. Start by feeling that energy.
2. There is an opposite energy to the one that brings on the charge. This is generally a light sense of clarity and freedom. Immerse yourself in that energy, long enough to experience how it feels.
3. Now start the breathing exercise that is at the core of recapitulation. Sitting or lying down, close your eyes and turn your head as far as you can, to the right. Exhale and focus on the light energy in #2 above.
4. Slowly swing your head from right to left, breathing in, as if inhaling that light energy. Fill your lungs and hold that breath and energy for a short time.
5. Still with head facing left, eyes closed and holding breath, shift attention to the dark energy or charge that you want to release. Hold it for a few seconds.
6. Slowly move head so you are pointed forward and forcefully blow out the breath and with it the dark energy. Release it to the universe.
7. Turn back to facing over right shoulder, recall the light energy and breathe it in slowly as you fan your head to over left shoulder. Repeat steps 5 and 6 and bring yourself back to starting position facing over right shoulder. Repeat and repeat and repeat.
8. Begin by mastering the movements and the engagement of the feelings. Then start lengthening your sessions-5–10–15–20–30 minutes.
9. You may want to create an altar where you keep objects representing the energies with which you are working. We will talk more about this and about many other, subtle things you will discover as you engage this process. It is highly recommended that you do work on releasing energies that you recall from your past but you will find an amazing, immediate, healing effect by recapping charges in the here and now, as soon as possible after they occur.
As we seek “path with heart,” there is a potential trap that we want to keep in awareness. People often tend to equate “path” with the way a person makes a living. From that, a person’s value or “importance” is often extrapolated. Those who are seeking path with heart will often strive for a vocational identity that they and/or others view as having high value. Many who achieve high paying jobs or positions of great authority, are generally view as more important than the person who makes little or no wage or has authority over no other person or thing. Therein lies the trap.
Importance–importance–SELF-IMPORTANCE. One of our greatest challenges as a Warrior, is to escape the delusion of self-importance. When we equate self-importance and vocation and grade ourselves(or others) on that or any basis, we are not escaping self-importance. We are clearly making it stronger. We are adding strength to the walls of the prison that keep us from becoming FREE. It should be obvious that the association of vocation and importance needs to be erased.
This, of course, takes us back to the search for Path with Heart. If it can be a trap for a Warrior to seek a high value vocation as their path with heart, what is a Warrior to do? This takes us back to some basic teachings. First, we are all here to SERVE. The definition of “service” can also be a bit tricky as it can also take us down that path to self-importance. So, perhaps there is solution in practicing “kindness.” We can do that in any of our waking moments and certainly in any possible vocation. But, the trap can still slip its’ sneaky energy into our perception of self. We can go around being kind and sweet and all sorts of nice things but if we see ourselves as being kind and sweet etc, it is very easy to turn this into self-importance. There we are, lost again. What to do?
This may not be the proverbial, Gordian Knot. In fact, the secret to freeing oneself from self-importance may be quite simple. If we can shift our view from focus on “self” to focus on the entire energy of the Universe, or even on the entire energy of humanity, we may begin to see the spec of energy that we have been calling “self,” is just a tiny fraction of the whole. Even more interesting, that spec is integral to the whole. It does not exist in any separate fashion. It contributes by simply existing. We can choose, as sentient beings, to align with energies that appeal to us but those energies are already in existence in the Oneness in which we participate. All energies exist in that Oneness. That includes me, you, everyone and everything.
Once we come to accept Who and What we are, self-importance no longer has any role beyond imposing limitations. Once we relinquish self-importance, we are free to engage the smorgasbord on the table of ONENESS. Path with Heart is an adventure rather than a mark of success or failure or of importance or lack thereof. Coming to KNOW the folly of self-importance is no easy task but it is the journey a Warrior must take. This journey is the ultimate rejection of personal conditioning and, as conditioned beliefs, like that in self-importance, begin to lose their power, the Warrior gains freedom.
The concept of “Oneness” has been pervasive in recent contemplations and meditations. The Hollow Bone sheds light on this in a way that is well worth your own effort to catch a glimpse. These glimpses contribute to clarity and show that there are depths to this that are very illusive to the human being. As we work to escape the bonds of self and evolve comprehension of Oneness, the tendency is to look at that which we have been perceiving as “self” as no longer separate but rather, as “part of the One.” As we go deeper, we begin to SEE that the concept of “self” as a part, is actually blocking the perception of ONE. Ironically, we carry into this perceptual set, the very issue we have been seeking to escape–self!! Self is not dissolved in that perception but remains, by virtue of our ego based needs, as part of the One. We must take a deeper dive into ONE to resolve this and, when we do, that perceived “self” is no longer part of the One. It is simply and inexplicably, ONE. When we SEE this, self-importance is eliminated. Desire is eliminated. That which we have seen as suffering is just sharing time and space with all that is–ONE. Duality becomes singularity and, as ONE, we are all and none. Therein, we are, period.
These words may or may not resonate. A briefer set of words by Rumi might clarify or add to your Knowledge:
“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” ~ Rumi
Another author attempts to untangle Rumi’s words from the “Great Mystery.”
“In other words, you are crafted with the intelligence of the entire Universe. Quantum physicists have said that if you take one photon of light and send it through a black hole, that single photon of light would carry with it all the information of the Universe. We are all holographic beings.”
We suggest that you bring this topic into your moment-by-moment life and spend time sitting quietly and contemplating the very nature of “self.” Without forcing anything, allow your consciousness in meditation, to track Oneness without Self. Who, who, who are you? What, what, what are you?
When someone speaks to you, they give you many clues as to their level of stress. Often, their speech is loud, even close to shouting, when they are stressed. It comes at you at a faster pace than when they are relaxed. You may notice the pitch of their voice is higher. In short, the vocal characteristics can be very telling of level of stress.
Psychological stress will commonly manifest in physiological changes and these changes are generally felt as tension. The pitch of any individual’s voice is determined, in large part, by the tension of the vocal folds. Voice is produced by air flowing through the gap between the folds and the tighter the folds, the more force it takes to vibrate them and thus, the higher the pitch. At the same time, since it takes more force to cause vibration, the voice is generally louder. Further, as the effort to create voice is increasing, there is generally a natural tendency to speak at a more rapid rate. So, with stress, we see vocal production that might be assessed as higher pitched, louder and more rapid than that of a person in a relaxed state.
This is very valuable information for a Warrior. The Intent of a Warrior is to be the artist of their own life, and this certainly includes being in charge of stress. We know that we can go a long way towards managing stress by managing the physiological and behavioral symptoms that are generally associated with stress. The voice is one of those aspects that is reasonably easy for us to manage and, when we do, we can reduce stress. You can experiment with this right now, as you are reading this short post. Pick a sentence and read it out loud. Then do it again but read it as quickly as you can utter the words. Notice how this feels. Notice the pitch of your voice and notice your volume-the loudness. Finally, read it slowly, focusing on each word and enunciating clearly. Allow your voice to be lower in pitch. Note how this feels. Can you tell the difference in stress levels? The important thing is to feel how you can manipulate your own sense of stress, even while just sitting alone. You are a magician but may need to practice a bit more.
Practice managing your voice in daily, conversational situations. Speak slowly with focus on communicating. Relax and lower the pitch of your voice, particularly when you feel tightness in throat. Relax. Speak quietly and if no one listens, just let it go. Maybe it just wasn’t important or maybe it will be their loss. In any case, maintain your own, relaxed voice. Note how stress melts away. Practice and practice until this is your “go-to.” You will find that you have made a major step in decreasing stress. Soft, gentle, calm, measured pace, lower pitch, feel it.
Be a “witness” of the relationship between stress and use of voice. Notice how, when voice is loud and high-pitched and words are spoken rapidly, the tendency of “listeners” is to react more to the stress inducing energy than to the content/meaning of the spoken words. You can see this easily in political speech (shouting) or in the go to Hell declarations many evangelists. The audience adopts an excited, intense energy, regardless of the words being shouted. The communication is in the frantic, stressful energy rather than in the meanings of words. Notice when an argument ensues between two people. one of whom might be you, how communication goes down the toilet when voices get louder, and words are spoken faster. There is irony in the way so many think they will be “heard” if they get louder while, in fact, the exact opposite is true. Pay attention and witness this in so many situations. Stress induces loud, rapid, high-pitched speech and the opposite feelings are conducive to calm, quiet, slow, lower-pitched vocal patterns. Stress can be either cause or effect. As a witness, you will see this.
Use what you learn as a witness. Use it to improve your own communication and interpersonal skills. Practice speaking methodically, slowly, quietly, clearly and with a soft, gentle voice. Note how people seem much more inclined to listen and to respond with an interest in communicating. Notice how much more centered you feel. Power-in.
We may be working at cross-purposes when we dedicate our energy to growing and evolving in accord with conditioned beliefs. From early on in life, we are taught that we are responsible to seek success. This may be defined by educational achievements, job or profession, possessions, monetary wealth, or any number of potential accomplishments. The bottom line is that we are taught to “become something.” We are taught to be successful and to display, cherish and protect that success-whatever it may be. In short, we are taught to develop a “persona” and to dedicate our lives to being as that persona defines us to be.
There’s a glitch in this, assuming we have an interest in growing and evolving in a Spiritual or Authentic sense. The primary emphasis of a persona is to define one’s self as separate from others. We strive to be different or even special compared to others. We strive for recognition and visibility. Can you SEE the glitch?
OK, here’s a hint. We are all ONE.
Now, can you reconcile this?
There are strong hints in teachings that say we are just part of the natural world. But, what does that mean when you go beyond the words. Am I “part” or am I just “I am?” How can “I” exist if I am simply “I AM?” Ahh. The Nagual!!!!!!!!!!! The unknown and then the “unknowable.” Can we go so deep into the unknowable that knowing, no longer matters or even exists. ONE just is and I AM. That’s all.
Explore these concepts and see where that takes you. Allow the doors to open and the breeze of clarity to blow through the room in which YOU (who, who, who) reside.
Let’s do a brief revisit to the topic of change. You may want to read a post towards the beginning of this thread. Go to page 1 and thumb down 3 or 4 posts.
Change is one of a Warrior’s more powerful tools. The prison we inhabit, as ordinary humans, is a small space with tight limits and rules. As we journey through life, the space generally becomes more and more confining and, bizarre as it may sound, most humans are inclined to settle in, lock the doors and windows, pull the curtains and make that space more and more, exactly the way it has been. This space is our way of becoming separate from the ONE. It is the very definition of EGO.
This space is our rationale for resistance to change. Resistance–change!!!!!!!!!! A Warrior must resist the resistance and find ways to change. A Warrior is in a constant state of flux, even as the world around them may be struggling to remain the same. A Warrior is sure to find that the exterior world, including friends and family, not only resist change but even go so far as to manipulate the Warrior into NOT changing. So, as we embark this journey of change, there is advantage in being aware of how the forces around us are very determined to keep us from changing.We have talked about change many times so it may seem redundant to dwell on this topic. However, the talk is not the same as action and action grows out of Awareness and Intent. A reminder or two may serve to regenerate awareness and that might just kick Intent into gear. Pay attention and use the tools. Remember not-doings and start where you are. Practice. Then move to bigger and more significant changes. Pay close attention to the forms taken by resistance. Note from where it comes and meet its’ challenges. If you do not see resistance, your blindness IS resistance. Open your eyes and work on Awareness. Take a step at a time but keep moving forward. Be unpredictable, even to self. Note how it feels to change. At first, it may be a bit uncomfortable but in time, you will realize the power it brings.
As you change and change and change, you will, sample the Universe and begin to sense the true, magic of being a human while being ONE. You will sense that you are energy that flows, perhaps more like the ocean than like a river. You begin to realize who, who, who and “I AM” will begin to replace separateness and ego.
“Relationships” are central to a human life and often present some of the greatest challenges. This is particularly true in marriages or marriage-like arrangements where two people are sharing so much of their lives. As we do this work, it is very obvious that relationship challenges are one of the most important aspects of growing and evolving, both spiritually and in daily living. These challenges often tend to manifest as huge, complex, apparently unresolvable problems. However, in fact, this is another case where “simple” may be the best solution.
In short, we are all here to serve. Our relationships are our laboratories for practicing serving and to perfect it as best we can. Serving without expectation of return is the very definition of unconditional love. We may begin a relationship with our hungry neediness but most find that the reinforcement value that ensues, has a tendency to wear-off somewhere along the line. Then it is time to get to work–or to just hang it up. If you have any interest in evolving the relationship and yourself, the challenge is to learn service without expectation of reward. The specific ways in which this is done will vary in any relationship but the principle is the same. Serve without “me, me, me!!”
You might ask how you can be expected to do this if your partner does not reciprocate. That is, BTW, a common result of conditioned, human behavior. Humans are self-important and generally have been taught to take rather than to give or to give when a reward can be realized. If you are going to be a Warrior and facilitate your own growth, you need to defy this up-bringing. You need to reverse neediness syndrome and move into a mode of service. Many times, we have repeated that a Warrior must be “ruthless, cunning’ patient and sweet.” There is service in a nutshell. If you are in a less than perfect relationship, consider this teaching. Work on being of service to your “mate” and if you want to gain something for yourself, consider the possibility that what you are doing is learning to actually engage in Unconditional Love.
As you contemplate an increased focus on service in whatever relationship/s you have, you will want to plan concrete actions or modes of behavior for yourself. This can be a bit daunting at first as it tends to go against habitual patterns. We can discuss this in places where you post on forum. Describe your ideas and plans. Ask questions and compare notes with others who are engaging similar challenges. SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHO, WHO, WHO ARE YOU?
As we grow and evolve, this question becomes of considerable interest. How do we come to KNOW self? We can see how our self-image is very controlled by how we think others view us but, at the same time, we know that is not WHO we are. We can look at the way we are managing our lives and some seems to fit and some does not. That’s also, not quite WHO we are. However, deep inside our hearts, we do KNOW WHO we are or at least, we KNOW that we do have a WHO. But, in our ever-chattering mental body, that WHO remains a mystery. So, wouldn’t it be nice if we had a way to create clarity and come to SEE our own, personal, Authentic identity.
For those of you who have been writing a daily Intent on forum, you have actually been creating a map that will show you WHO you are. You now have created a tool for yourself to explore and solve this mystery. A simple exercise is all you need.
exercise:
1. Begin by choosing a time frame. Let’s suggest 6 months. You can make this shorter or longer.2. On your forum page where you post daily, find the page number indicator and thumb back through those pages until you find the post that you made 6 months ago.
3. List the “key words” in your statement of Intent in that post. For example, if your Intent was: “My Intent is to be patient and kind while not taking things personally.” Start your list with the key words:
patient-1
kind-1
not taking personally-1
4. Then go to your next post and identify the key words. ex: “My Intent is to be kind and to not judge others.” Add to your list:
patient-1+1
kind-1
not taking personally-1
no judging-1
5. Go to the next post and on through all posts for the 6 month period. Add key words as they appear and keep the tally of each. As you do this. your Authentic Self will emerge before your very eyes and, by the end, it should be very clear WHO you are in your heart. You will find yourself saying to self, “Yes, this is really WHO I am in my heart and WHO I want to be in my life.” This may not align 100% with your conditioned persona but, as you absorb what you are learning, you will sense a warm, comfortable place in your heart. You will know that this WHO is the person you are here, in this life, to cultivate, grow and evolve. This person is where your path will take you when you stay on track. Those key words are your map and they represent your Authentic Self. Now you have met WHO you are. The journey continues.We have been having some discussions about how we feel in varying environments. There is some agreement that when we are in a natural setting, away from people, we are most at ease. The word “natural” is descriptive of how we feel. No “charges.” We are just there, feeling comfortable in our own skin. Sitting in the woods or working in the garden….
At the other end of a sort of continuum, when we are with other people who we perceive as potentially judging us, we tend to be uncomfortable. We are out of balance and can have difficulty functioning effectively or without emotional reactions.
Somewhere between these two extremes, most of us have people with whom we are totally at ease. Generally, we find this true when interacting with children and many of us are comfortable when dealing with infirm or handicapped. Often, we are comfortable with the elderly, perhaps in part because they have found their own “calm” and are sharing that energy with us. Note, this is about energy.
The challenge is to evolve our emotions so that we are always in a comfort zone, regardless of our environment. A simple suggestion might be very helpful. When you are in a situation where you are feeling discomfort, try finding some aspect of that environment that offers a connection with an energy that you associate with emotional peace and comfort. There will always be some reminder of the natural environment, for example. This might be a plant in the room, a picture on the wall, the light coming in a window. Find that energy, which is always present, and connect with it. Use it to tune yourself like a musician uses a pitch pipe to tune an instrument. Find the calm that you feel when alone in the woods or in your garden. Focus on feeling that calm. Be patient. Practice this and you will get a sense that you are changing and becoming more and more comfortable, regardless of your environment.
Practice.
One of the challenges, as we work on our personal healing, is to over-come that very natural tendency to deny issues that we see as faults. For example, most recently, we have been focusing on the issue of self-importance. As we look at various challenges, you have been getting constant reminders that a major, contributive issues is self-importance. Since this is something we all want to relinquish, we naturally try to convince ourselves that our own self-importance is not all that bad. We have even had alleged Warriors who have declared that they no longer have any self-importance. In short, this is not ever true for any of us who are doing this Earth Walk as human beings. We define ourselves in whatever way, we then attach to that definition and that is self-importance. Further, as humans, we are imperfect. As Warriors, this is an extremely important fact to bring into awareness and to keep in sharp focus.
The point of this brief post is quite simple. As you move along a path of personal and Spiritual growth, you will become more and more aware of issues, like self-importance, that are holding you back and that need efforts towards resolution. If you rationalize or excuse these issues, you will miss the opportunities for healing and growth. If you accept issues as worthy of awareness and of work, you will make progress in your journey to grow. Use the issues that come into awareness. Do your best to see how the issues impact various aspects of your life. Rather than seeing issues as faults, look at them as clues in your own, personal, treasure hunt.
Self-importance, masculine energy, feminine energy and balance. Can we see how these concepts all work together to contribute towards our personal and Spiritual growth?
As we go through life and engage growth, one of our greatest challenges is to balance our masculine and feminine energies AND to keep doing so in a way that brings us closer and closer to that place where balance is in place and extreme emotional loading is not occurring. In other words, we want to learn to be receptive by being a witness rather than a victim and we want to learn to use our expressive actions to contribute positive energy to the world around us. The key to this is to be relinquishing self-importance. When someone says something unkind to us and we react, that is self-importance at work. When we react in a way that takes the energies to a calmer, more balanced place, we are letting go of, at least some of our self-importance. When we no longer have any desire or need to react, we may have found a new level of freedom from self-importance. It may be unlikely that we will completely eradicate self-importance in this lifetime, but we can all make a significant dent and when we do, we will be a very different person and we will be having a very positive effect on the One that we all are.
So, work on balance. Keep seeking that quiet place where receptive and expressive are not emotionally loaded. Be patient as you watch yourself grow and evolve. Be ruthless as you pick yourself up after each fall. Simple–not so easy–totally doable.
We are all “enablers”. We interact with other people and even with various and sundry animals. The manner in which we interact impacts their behavior. This is enabling.
Often, we enable behavior that might not be so desirable. When we encourage or participate in behavior that might be harmful to self or to another person, we are enabling that behavior. When we gossip, we are enabling our own and others’ behavior that serves only negative purpose. When we participate in use of drugs or alcohol with someone who is misusing substances, we are enabling their dysfunctional behavior. When we laugh about unkind behavior towards others, we are enabling whoever emitted such behavior. Perhaps a bit more subtle but also powerful version of enabling occurs when we engage a person in argument or angry behavior. We reinforce conflict and that is enabling. There is Warrior Wisdom in paying attention to how we might enable inappropriate behavior and then, of course, modifying our own behavior.
There is a flip side to enabling. We usually think of enabling in reference to negative behavior but we can also be enablers of positive behavior. We have the ability to reinforce acts of kindness, for example. A simple compliment can go a long way. We can also enable positive behavior by refusing to participate in something that might be harmful to self or to another. We can enable positive social behavior by electing activities that do not encourage dysfunction. We can enable positive behavior be being an example. This can be particularly effective with children but can also have powerful influence on adult friends and even on strangers. We can and do enable ourselves. Be the person you would most admire and reinforce those admirable behaviors in others. You will find your own reinforcement in the power you gather by positive enabling.
We are all responsible for ourselves, but our responsibility goes beyond that. We are the creators of our own reality and the others who appear in our reality are part of what we are creating. We can be supportive and enablers of positive or we can be creators of the negative. We choose what we enable. Be a Great Warrior and make conscious, responsible choices. Enable the life that brings peace and love. You Know. Just gotta do it.
This morning, I saw a news clip on TV that showed a toddler in the yard with his mother. A hawk dove from above and flew right past the child as the mom went into a protective mode. The statement by the news person was that the mom had saved the child from the attacking hawk. This might have been the conclusion of many observers but, from my perspective, the hawk was never close enough to touch the child and this incident brought to mind an experience from my own personal history.
Some years ago, I was sitting in the desert in New Mexico. My Intent was to find a Spirit name for myself. After 3 days, I had no sense of a name except that the word “wind” kept interrupting my thoughts. I repeatedly said to myself, “Wind is not a name”. Then, I heard a squawk in the air above and when I looked up, there was a raven circling. It was as if the squawking turned to clear speech and I heard: “Wind is a very fine name.” At that exact same instant, a hawk came flying straight at me and buzzed me just inches away from my left shoulder. At that moment, I realized it was time to quit resisting and I said to myself, “My name is Wind.”
There is a very important point to be shared as I recall this experience and the report on TV this morning. Every moment in every life is an experience. We might say that every moment brings a hawk flying by us. We have a choice of what we see and how we see it. The hawk can be just a bird that is miscalculating or lost or even attacking. What it is doing is what our perception says. It can also be a messenger from our Spirit Self. The message might or might not be clear but we can always perceive the events in our lives as messengers that we are tasked with hearing. This is a matter of perception. Is the “hawk” just a bird passing through or is the “Hawk” a gift from whom we can gather a bit more wisdom or healing or evolving energy? Can the Hawk guide us on this Earth Walk? We choose or, at least we have a choice how we perceive the Hawk. Sometimes the greatest challenges are the most meaningful “Hawks.” Sometimes the challenge becomes a gift because we see it as the Hawk.
Each of us can benefit from applying perspective to our daily experiences. We can treat each moment as a Hawk bringing messages or we can perceive events as life passing by. Was that little boy just lucky that his mom was there or was that little boy being touched by Spirit in some way? Was this a close call or was it Great Mystery doing what Great Mystery does? Can you see how this is a teaching that you can apply to every moment of your own experience? What can I learn from this moment? Perspective!
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